The Love You Missed Is the Love You Must Give Yourself

Growing up is not just about paying bills or figuring out how to cook a decent meal. It is about facing the emotional gaps left behind by childhood. One of the hardest truths of adulthood is accepting that nobody owes you the love you did not receive when you were younger. That job now belongs to you.

Mark Manson captured it clearly. Adulthood means recognizing that the love you missed is not coming from someone else. It is coming from within.

This does not mean your pain was not real. It does not mean your needs were unimportant. Many people carry wounds from absent parents, broken homes, or environments that made them feel small, unseen, or unloved. Those experiences shape your beliefs about your worth, your relationships, and your place in the world.

Healing does not come from waiting for someone to fix what happened. It comes from showing up for yourself in ways no one else ever did.

The love you needed as a child may have been safety, praise, encouragement, or simply someone to say, “You matter.” Now that you are grown, that voice must become your own.

This is not about becoming cold or self-reliant to a fault. It is about reclaiming your power. It is about learning how to give yourself what you once had to beg for.

You create the environment your younger self longed for by speaking to yourself with kindness, setting boundaries that protect your peace, and making choices that align with your growth. You stop chasing validation from people who cannot give it, because you no longer need it to feel whole.

Loving yourself is not a soft cliché. It is hard work. It is showing up on the days when you feel unworthy. It is taking care of your body, your thoughts, and your future even when part of you wants to give up.

Nobody can go back and change your past. You are not broken because of it. You are simply being asked to become the person you needed back then.

Be gentle. Be brave. Be the love you missed.